The question about LOVE

During the 25th wedding anniversary of my colleague, he was asked a question: what is his secret to such long-lasting marriage? To that, his reply was: "For those of you who have been married for as long as I have been, you will know the answer. For those of you who have not been married as long as me, you will come to know the answer after you have been married for 25 years."

As simple and amusing as his answer might sound, it left me with something to ponder upon.

As I watched my colleague - a very nice man who never fails to greet us whenever we meet - and his wife danced to the tune of an old song, I could see glimpses of love and tenderness between them. When his wife was asked what it has been like living with him all these years, she smiled and said he is a very caring and loving husband but can also be particular about the type of food that he eats. I guess, having to spend twenty-five years with another person must include having to accommodate each other throughout those years.

As I listened to their answers, a question came to my mind: what role has love played in their long-lasting marriage?

A lot have been said, described and written about this thing called LOVE. Many of us - especially in our younger days - have been mesmerized by it. As we grow older, love has mellowed in a certain way but its true essence in being able to touch our hearts, remains. For some, love is full of fond memories; for others, love reminds them of painful scars. We have been disappointed by mirages of love, mingled with infatuations but for some of us, only after going through the mirages, we are able to realize the true oasis of love when we meet one.

Each of us has encountered love in different ways. For some, love is in the form of being swept off their feet; for others, love is in the form of adrenalin rushing through their bodies; for the rest, love is in the form of being able to touch the heart with such tender and soothing nature.

A couple of my colleagues, who are single - though I do not believe that being single has anything to do with the notion that we have about love - and I believe that when two people start a new life together, it must be better than the one that he/she was leading prior to that. If not, what is the point for two people to come together and end up in misery as a result of their union?

Someone once said to me that, love can be cultivated but it cannot be planted in our hearts without the seed of love. I totally agree with that.

So, after considering all this, have I been able to find the answer to that question about the role love has played in my colleague's long-lasting marriage? No. Even if I were to ask my colleague, he might not be able to pinpoint to a single answer such as 1 + 1 = 2.

This is because, we, as individuals, have our own notions of what is love and how we want to spend our lives with our significant others. There is no right or wrong answer to how each of us defines love. For me, it is simply about how I go through my learning process to gain the understanding what love is.